Monday Boss Joke: 3 Wishes

Have you ever wished for something better in your life? This week’s Monday Boss Joke shows that you should be careful what you wish for.

A boss and two of her staff walked into the cafeteria and tripped on a bottle on the floor. Suddenly, a cloud of smoke shot out of the bottle and a genie appeared. The genie said to the three of them, “I will grant each of you one wish.”

The first employee said, “Wow! I’ve always wanted to be in a villa in Italy!” The genie snapped his fingers, and in an instant, the employee was gone.

The second employee said, “I want to go on a trip around the world!” Once again, the genie snapped his fingers and the second employee vanished.

The boss then turned to the genie and said with a scowl, “I want both those employees back after lunch.”


Monday Boss Joke: Calling by Name

Ever have a boss that feeds off of authority? Today’s joke showcases one such boss:

A female manager of a large office noticed a new male employee and told him to come into her office.

“What is your name?” she asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

She scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker … That’s why I am to be only referred to as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we’ve got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

Monday Boss Joke: Who’s the Boss?

Today’s Monday boss joke is a both a joke and a witty comeback all rolled into one. Enjoy!

The boss was complaining the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect from his staff.

The next day, he brought a small sign to work that stated, “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door.

Later when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”

Everyone Has a Story

One of the reasons that I started this blog is that everyone seems to have suffered under a lemon boss at one time or another. Often, we suffer in silence, internalizing the problem, and assuming that it must be something that we have done.

But, an amazing thing happens when we start talking about our terrible bosses. It becomes a form of therapy. The stories are often funny, sometimes sad, but always insightful. The comradary that occurs by sharing gives us a sense that our bosses have the problem – it is their poor behaviour, not ours. Take a look at this YouTube video of interviews at the University of Texas, as people share stories of their “worst boss.”

Recently, the viewership of this blog has grown substantially. Initially, I would just receive views from Canada and the United States. But, lately, people have been visiting from Australia, India, Pakistan, Malaysia, Singapore, France, the U.K., and Argentina, just to name a few. This tells me that the stories I share (and you submit) on this blog resonate across borders and across cultures.

My hope with writing this blog is that by referring to our terrible bosses as lemons (like when we have a car that is a lemon), it empowers us. It tells us that we are not alone, and that we have the power to change our situation – if not by switching jobs, then by our attitude towards our existing one.

So, if you have a story to share, please send it to me via our Submit A Story page. I promise to change any details to protect you. And, please help spread the word. It is great to see people from around the world joining in and exposing the terrible behaviour of lemon bosses.

Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Revenge Strategy: Keeping the Boss ‘Posted’

Instead of a Monday Boss Joke, today I thought I would bring you something a little different. Here is a photo of a  humorous practical joke played while the boss was out of the office (courtesy of the photo sharing site, imgur). This isn’t what the boss meant when he said to “keep him posted” while he was gone!

This revenge could cause the employee to be in a "sticky situation."

Monday Boss Joke: Calling in Sick

Here is a short and sweet one to start off your week:

An employee called his boss one morning to say he was calling in sick.

The boss replied, “Whenever I feel sick, I just have sex with my wife. That always makes me feel better. You should try it.”

The employee said, “Okay. I’ll give it a try.”

A while later the employee called his boss back. He said happily, “You’re right! It worked! I feel much better! By the way, you have a really nice house.”

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